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The Winter of Discontent

January 17, 2011

Job hunting gets really old, really fast. The cold doesn’t help. And the snow just keeps falling. Oh, life is hard. I should probably turn off J.B. Lenoir and go hand out some resumes. It’s so cold that someone died of hypothermia. Yet, the bone chilling cold is what defines Canada, and enduring the cold defines Canadians.

For half of the year we lock ourselves inside, our women dress up as bee keepers, our men dream of summer time within their space suits, and we buckle down. My job hunt has been very fruitful because it’s too cold to go outside. And I’ve begun a noire story.

It takes place in the dead of winter. I guess it’s more for my enjoyment than anyone else’s, since most fiction never sees the light of day. It did lead to a prolonged argument — me against my friend — over a paragraph I loved and one she hated. Here it is:

The bus pulled up with a long exasperated squeal like an ice pick in the morning chill. Michael nudged and pushed his way into the line up to get on. The bus was already nearing its potential, but the impatience and cold weather outside made quick friends of strangers as they squeezed together the best they could.

I don’t need people pointing out what’s wrong with the paragraph because I know it’s ridiculous. I was trying to be smart. And trying to be something you are not can end in disaster. I still like the sentence even if my friend argued that a bus nearing its potential sounds like it’s going really, really fast.

My argument is that a bus’s potential is to carry people. Who’s heard of a really, really fast bus?The imagery also sucks, since ice picks are silent killers. (Disresgard that last sentence. It also sucks.) And impatience does not make any sense as a noun.

Anyways, it was for my amusement. Much like I like to use the word irregardless whenever I get the chance. This blog entry is a kind of a cluster fuck as I work my through some other things in real life. I needed to write about funny things, so I could go and write about real life things which are never funny, e.g. cover letters.

I’ve written a million different cover letters, for a million different jobs. I’m quite good at it. I’ve been getting lots of return emails saying I’m not qualified. That is better than no response at all. It has led to some restless nights. Which is good. I stay up late and read all types of interesting things on the internets.

The internets are full of bitching and whining. There’s also lots of space devoted to making fun of people, and the acrobatic sexual behaviour of extroverted professional fornicators. (I was going to add a really nasty picture here but thought better.)

All of this got me thinking of the general purpose of blogging. This blog was an exercise in marketing from a course I took years ago. It’s supposed to generate interest, as long as it is professional and deals with topics of interest. It can also showcase my amazing writing talent.

Then I realized, while eavesdropping on conversations at Starbucks, that everyone has a blog. So, it’s like yelling in a rock concert. So, here’s a list of blogs within yelling distance.

Well, that’s two. Informal Press is a bit of a publishing cooperative I belong to. Full of creative and neat people.

Because, this entry has no real direction, I’ll tell you about what I’m reading:  Age of Propaganda. It’s fascinating. There’s this great quote from Cicero:

Wisdom without eloquence has been of little help to the states, but eloquence without wisdom has often been a great obstacle and never an advantage.”

If you are feeling blue, don’t worry, Today is The Most Depressing Day of The Year!

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Hofferful permalink
    January 18, 2011 7:16 pm

    You strike a nice balance of humour, contempt, creativity, and unemployedness.

    • jeffdoesread permalink*
      June 30, 2011 11:15 pm

      Contempt. I was really feeling that vibe.

  2. Anonymous permalink
    January 20, 2011 1:22 am

    The secret to job hunting is abandoning all hope. I wish I were joking.

    • jeffdoesread permalink*
      June 30, 2011 11:14 pm

      Apathy is definitely a helpful hint. Also, don’t try so hard. Though I haven’t read this advice anywhere else yet.

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